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“ABBC GIGACHAD” ~ The smartest noita players


This document is not intended as a guide for new players. The aim of this is for experienced players to take the steps described below, and to be able to repeat them with consistent success.
For the cheese strategy to work optimally, the player should ideally understand how the boss attacks, and the logic behind why it decides to move where it does.
The next chapter will concisely cover the required steps for cheesing the boss, while the following chapters will attempt to explain in detail what is happening, and why. (To my best understanding)

Step by step: how to cheese the boss

  1. 1.

    Wait for the bridge to stabilize

    Yes, this is important. I will explain it in chapter 4.1
  2. 2.

    Empty out the water pool

  3. 3.

    Check for enemies in open areas directly overhead

  4. 4.
    Move to the green As you cross the trigger zone to spawn the boss, you want to immediately move into the green zone 4 in the bottom corner, mod has an updated location, do not stand on the green section 2.
    You want to be touching one of these before the boss breaks the bridge. See chapter 4.2
  5. 5.
    When the boss breaks the bridge, move back to the water pool and cover yourself with a tablet (or two) before it reaches its target location
  6. 6.
    Profit from your new god wands
Or don’t… The Noita gods are fickle.

Why this strategy over the popular one?

This method has significantly more consistency and a smaller chance of losing a run due to circumstances outside of your control, compared to the traditional bridge boss cheese.
The benefits that this new strategy provides for you include:
  • Limiting the amount of maneuvering required, which makes mistakes less likely to happen
  • Forces the boss to move in a certain pattern, which makes all attempts very similar to one another.
  • Requires the boss to move a massively reduced distance, which minimizes the RNG that its swaying mechanism would cause
  • Has the player stay outside the line of sight of the bosses projectiles and wands at all times, which means certain safety *
  • Reduces the chance of the boss retargeting towards enemies in the ceiling massively, though not by 100%
  • Allows the player to retreat to a plan B, meaning the traditional strategy, if things were to go wrong.
* Cue the incident that motivated me to find this new strategy in the first place.

How does this work?

  • Why wait for the bridge to stabilize?

Note: I am not 100% sure what I’m describing is true, as I have not gone through the game code or done any big brain stuff like that. However I have anecdotally experimented with this logic for over a hundred attempts and it seems to work consistently.
This has to do with how the boss’ movement AI works.
Initially, when the boss spawns, it will have no target and thus initiates with default behavior, moving directly upwards at a slow pace. You can test this by hiding before it destroys the bridge and finds a valid path towards the player.
This initial behavior is very consistent, has no RNG and is thus desirable for our cheesing purposes.
However, if the bridge is wobbling as the player spawns the boss, this seems to cause the boss’ pathing AI to find a route to the player immediately upon spawning, and then cancel the route.
My hypothesis is that since the bridge is so thin, the boss manages to find a path through the other side of the bridge, and then cancel it as the bridge sways back and forth.
This makes the boss move towards the center of the pit and away from the player, making its behavior erratic and inconsistent.
Good luck predicting the exact moment to retreat now.
We want to avoid this behavior, and from what I have found in testing, waiting until the bridge is nearly static will make the boss no longer find a path through. Thus it will remain in the default AI state until it snaps through the bridge and suddenly finds a valid path to the player. This is easy to time and consistent, and so it’s ideal for our cheesing purposes.
Destroying the bridge before spawning the boss would also make it behave consistently, but in a way that I have not found a good enough cheese method for. If the bridge is destroyed, it means the boss will now find a direct path to the player immediately upon spawning, and skip the default AI behavior entirely. This means it will leap out of the pit significantly faster and will head towards the border of the trigger zone, where the player was in the moment it spawned.
  • Why do I want to stay in the green zones?

For this part, you need to know that the wands that the boss spawns are able to destroy the light brown rock (Dense Rock), while unable to destroy the dark brown stone. (Extremely Dense Rock; EDR)
The boss has a zone of Matter Eater around him, which causes him to vaporize any materials in a small zone around him, as can be seen in the GIF in part 2.5.
Why the cheese strategy works in the first place is that the boss shoots four different types of projectiles, of which the “Giant” (purple) explosive variants are slightly larger than his Matter Eater zone, which causes them to be able to damage him.
The main problem that we want to avoid is that the boss can potentially stand in a position that allows it to shoot wands at the player, but the wands then carve a hole in the Dense Rock that makes the explosions no longer able to reach the boss.
Uh oh… Time for plan B
The formation of the rock around the orb room will always be the same, and thus it should be possible to find a consistent spot to stand in that the boss will stand in, leading to it being surrounded by a wall of EDR every time. I have not found any precise, 100% consistent and low risk lineups as of yet though.
From my testing, the bottom corner position (Area #4 in the picture of chapter 2.4) will lead to extremely consistent attempts, but it is also very far away from the pool, so the player has to be very quick to hide themselves before the boss manages to reach its target zone and look for the player’s new location.
The reason the top of the rocky hill (Area #1 in the picture of chapter 2.4) is not consistent enough is that it allows the boss to sway horizontally in a wider area. The boss seems to stop very quickly when destroying matter, but when it has nothing ahead to stop it, the boss will be more erratic. Sometimes this may even lead to the boss swooping above the player, consuming the wall of the pool and revealing the player’s position.
From my experiments, the green zones in the picture in chapter 2.4 will lead to the most consistent attempts, though with more testing, there could be even better points that I have not managed to discover yet.
  • Why should I drink the water from the pool?

Consuming the water prevents the character from floating, which could reveal their position. It also makes tossing the tablet(s) more consistent, and avoids water from pooling between the tablet and the wall, and drowning the player. It’s just a precaution and there is no reason not to do it.
  • How should I toss the tablet to block the bosses pathing AI?

I aim at the floor next to the toes of the character model. This seems to give me a very consistent toss with a single tablet.
You can also use two tablets in a row as an alternative, but I’m not a big fan of this method, as sometimes the second tablet can warp upwards, making it slightly inconsistent.
An extra safe method you could do is to use tablet digging to make a small hole in the wall before attempting the cheese. This ensures that your tablet will block the pathing AI with almost guaranteed certainty. The drawback is that it might make urgent escape plans slightly more inconvenient. I personally don’t bother with it anymore since my method seems to be consistent enough, but it’s a good option if you’re unsure about it.
  • What about enemies on the ceiling?

It appears that the boss will only be able to detect enemies that are directly or slightly overhead, so enemies at the rightmost corner of the orb room are not to worry about. The ceiling having an opening directly overhead seems to be rather rare (Happened to me three or so times in ~100 attempts), but it is a real possibility, and thus the player should make it a priority to check and kill all nearby creatures before attempting the cheese.

That’s all folks.

This new strategy is still rather fresh (first found on Sunday 14/11/22 around 12pm CET), and there are certainly a bunch of undiscovered optimizations to be found. However, this sums up all the observations that I have managed to find for now.
I will most likely not be updating this document for long, and in case this strategy ends up becoming a success, I hope somebody else takes over the mantle of writing / recording a solid guide for this variation of the bridge boss cheese.
My discord handle is twist#3446, though I would appreciate it if you would ping me in the Noita or DunkOrSlam discords instead of DMs. I don’t plan on doing much more after writing this.
You’re free to use this strategy as you like, make youtube stuff, write steam guides, whatever. Free use license and all that stuff.
Last modified 9mo ago